Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Maybe as if you’re a little girl wearing your mom’s pearls, and high heels to a PTA meeting. You sit at the table, sipping tea, and listening to other parents. But you’re scared that someone will see you.
“Hey I recognize you!”
You sink into your chair, high heels slipping off your child-size feet. “Yeah you!” She says pointing, suddenly all eyes turn to you. “I recognize you from the park, where you play with my son on the swing set!” Bam! Suddenly everyone knows. You’ve been spotted! Everyone knows that you’re just faking it. You aren’t really an adult, you’re just a little kid, and you certainly don’t belong here.
Except you do belong. Because you aren’t a little girl. Those high heels fit you fine, because they are yours. The pearl necklace, a gift from your partner, actually sits quite elegantly on your neck. And, no one is pointing. Instead they seek your council. “What do you think about having a bake sale?” Someone wants your input.
Sometimes parents find themselves feeling like they are faking it. Everyone else around them seems to know exactly what to do all of the time. These perfect mothers go home to spotless homes, and children who clean their room, brush their teeth, and love brussel sprouts. Thier partner shares housework evenly, and these woman even has time to read a book in a bubble bath many nights a week. The worst part? This woman can wear white for an entire day.
Meanwhile your children run around like wild banshees, you haven’t even found time to sweep the floor in a week, you have spit up stains on your shirt, you’ll be lucky if you get your kids into the bath, let alone yourself.
But the other woman isn’t really that perfect. She is supported, and she might be faking it a little bit. Maybe she has a meal service who cooks for her. She probably has a house cleaner too. Those two tasks alone give her enough time for self care. And that clean white shirt she wears? She just swaps out the spit-up shirt before she gets out of the car for PTA meetings.
So don’t feel like the little girl playing dress up. When you don’t have the answer, or you need help, find it. Build your support network. Make friends. Seek support groups, or events for kids your same age. Ask Ms. Seemingly-Perfect “Wow, what’s your secret to making motherhood so glamaorus?” No one has to walk through life alone, find your support network. Remember, you can always bring a few shirts so you can feel clean all day long too. The extra laundry might be worth it.